Have you ever wondered about keeping up to date?

The world being connected, as it is nowadays, it would be quite possible to live our life here more or less isolated from things Spanish; we could behave as though home were still Huntingdon. We try not to but we could.

With time things change and so de we. As an easy example the food we eat and the way we buy things has changed radically. Ordering takeaway food to eat at home via my personal phone, without making a call, and having someone deliver it on a bike would have seemed incredible in my youth. Clothes change, habits change, tastes change, everything changes down to the way we speak. Although I've kept my distance and even stayed at home recently I have never shielded or social distanced but I know people who have.

I'm not that interested in keeping up with the UK. I tell my sister that I don't know the names of British politicians. She doesn't believe me. She's partially right in that I do half recognise maybe four or five current British political names but, Boris apart, I couldn't pick any current high value British politician out in a police lineup. It would be easy to catch up. I could sit down with a list and learn some names. I did that with Spanish politicians when I first moved here. Nowadays, dodgy memory aside, I know as much about Spanish politics as I used to know about politics in the UK when I lived there.

This sort of stuff is as important or as unimportant as you want to make it. The music market of my youth was very simple. If Decca hadn't signed the Stones and Parlophone had missed the Beatles then music history may have been different. Labels signed artists and labels pushed for radio plays and TV slots. Young people saw and heard that and went out and bought it, or not. Nowadays I have no idea how people decide which new music they are going to buy. The power of the record labels and the radio stations is nothing like it was and there is so much more out there and accessible than there was. A young person, with a laptop, can produce music in their bedroom which is much better, technically, than the stuff that Capitol recorded for the Beach Boys. It's an easy answer to say that the music is on YouTube or Spotify but how do those people know what they want access to without a radio DJ to act as go between? If you're happy to listen to music from the last century then it's completely irrelevant and if you're only interested in the Top 40 or the ever popular classics it's easy. If, on the other hand, you're interested in knowing what non established musicians are up to a quick glance at Bandcamp or Soundcloud shows just how many artists there are out there. As I said this sort of stuff is either important to you or it isn't. 

I still watch the telly. Lots of younger people, including younger Spanish people don't. They go to Twitch, YouTube and the like. One of the programmes I'm aware of on mainstream terrestrial telly, but very seldom watch, is an interview programme hosted by a bloke called Jordi Évole. He interviewed a Spanish "influencer" called Ibai. I'd never heard of Ibai so I had a look at some of his videos afterwards - he is quite entertaining but it wasn't a Road to Damascus event for me yet 40,000 people like him enough to pay 5€ a month to watch his Twitch channel. 

I'm still doing some online Spanish conversation classes so I get to talk to a couple of younger Spaniards each week. I asked them about Ibai. In turn they told me about other YouTubers and Influencers and Gamers. One of my contacts mentioned David Broncano which was a name I knew because I mentioned him in a blog about forocoches. Another talked about a bloke called Fortfast and when I hunted out his stuff I found news stories about his house burning down and court action from an ex-employee. A few weeks ago more of these Internet media stars made the headlines because they were going to live in Andorra to reduce their tax bills - just like Britons used to move to the Channel Islands or the Isle of Man. I'm vaguely perturbed that I don't know about this stuff. How is it that I know who Tom Parker was but couldn't tell you the name of a song by Califato ¾?

As I said, this stuff is completely unimportant. I'm not that concerned about being whatever one says nowadays for hip and cool. I don't care (much) that I've never paid for anything with my mobile phone and that I still sometimes use cash but I suppose the problem I have with this "not being in the loop" has to do with that idea of fitting in. I don't want to be an English person, living an English life in a foreign place where the sun shines but the locals speak funny and don't do anything as well as we do.

Spanish stereotypes

In the last post about Albacete I mentioned an exercise I use with my students as a conversation starter. It's not my piece, I took it from a Spanish source and translated it into English.

I disagree with a couple of them, I don't whoeheartedly agree with lots of them and I don't actually know what a couple are getting at. But it's an easy post and I rather suspect that at least one of my readers - that sounds posh doesn't it? - will have a response.

Spain: bulls, guitars and flouncy skirts

This is how tourist guides, written in France, Italy, Germany, the United Kingdom, Japan and Russia describe Spain. The old image of bulls and castanets may have disappeared but are these new generalisations any more accurate?

What do you think?

1 Spain is the European country where the fewest number of newspapers are read and where the most popular newspaper deals only with sport.

2 Spain is a desert for vegetarians and a place where ham is considered to be part of a vegetarian diet.

3 Spain isn't all sun but then again everything is conditioned by the sun.

4 It's the place where breakfast in a bar includes a shot of the hard stuff alongside a coffee.

5 Spain is a country where almost nobody gets drunk in public.

6 Where chocolate is sweet and thick.

7 In Spain body hair on women, particularly underarm or on the legs, is socially unacceptable.

8 Where everything, or almost everything, closes down for the afternoon.

9 Where people parade from bar to bar greeting friends and eating tapas before having dinner.

10 RENFE trains are clean and efficient.

11 Where pedestrians are terrorised by motorists at every junction and every zebra crossing.

12 Where life begins as the rest of Europe dons its pyjamas.

13 Where restaurants still sell a bottle of drinkable plonk for 5€.

14 Where crossing yourself and calling on God is still an everyday part of many transactions.

15 It may be Europe but Spaniards aren't Europeans.

16 Where the toilets are clean but never have toilet paper.

17 A country where it's dangerous to get involved in chit chat.

18 Where everyone is criticised - except for the King.

19 A country whose past is marked by hunger and famine.

20 A country that has no cuisine to speak of.

Hey Mr Beaver

It was quite early, maybe around eight in the morning, but the newsagent in Chatteris was open. I was on my way to some absolutely essential meeting I'm sure. Chatteris is a town in the Cambridgeshire Fens, stories of incest, potato headedness and child swapping abound. Chatteris was not in the fast lane of the (then) 20th Century. A couple of older women were in front of me, they were buying but chatting. After waiting nearly five minutes I asked if I might just have a packet of Hamlet and be gone. I had the correct change, it would be a quick exchange. The woman behind the counter wasn't having any of it and didn't heistate to chide me for my hurry.

On Monday I was in the library cum youth centre in Sax. Six of us were gathered around a table parked at an edge of the big barn like room. We Brits outnumbered the Spaniards two to one. The idea is that it's a sort of group language exchange - I have no idea why we use a room large enough to stage a concert in. My fellow Brits were expounding on a failing of some Spanish system or another - maybe education, maybe good manners. I forget. We often complain about most things in our adopted home. Then one of the Brits said that she had been told, by a Spaniard, that it wasn't fair to judge Spain by what happens "around here."

I know exactly what she means. It wouldn't be fair to extrapolate an impression of the UK from Chatteris or its somewhat prettier rural cousins alone. If you did, and you worked in the film industry for instance, you may have a population that never took its wellies off or lived in half timbered, thatched roof cottages and shopped at family owned supermarkets all the time. Obviously there are no films like that.

I made a little coment on Facebook about Maggie stopping in the middle of the road to greet someone and used it as an example to prove that she was becoming Spanish. Marilo came back to say that she really was Spanish and she would never stop on a zebra crossing to chat with someone. Forgive us, we're country bumpkin Spaniards I replied - we do folk dances. I don't suppose they do a lot of folk dancing in the Palacio neighbourhood of Madrid either. Only the other day when I wrote the form and function blog entry I was thinking that there are some pretty trendy places in Spain, there are first class restaurants, people buy Audi A7s as well as white vans and Internet connections run at 100 Mb in the big cities. When I talk to telesales people there is often a lot of confusion about our address. Their expectation is a street name, building number and maybe flat details. They do not expect some description of a piece of muddy (winter) or dusty (summer) field.up a farm track.

Fortunately though the blog is called Life in Culebrón not Life in Spain