A new driving licence

I was wearing green flares and a pink shirt with a big collar when I took my first driving test. I was a callow youth of 16. That first licence only allowed me to drive a three wheeler (and probably ride a moped) but, when I turned 17, I passed the car driving test and got a bunch of other classes of vehicles added to my little red driving licence booklet. So I've had a licence for well over 50 years now. That original "full" driving licence included specific classes for vehicles such as invalid carriages, road rollers and trolley vehicles. Later, probably when I got one of those folding green and pink two part driving licences, the classes changed to the ones that have been stable now for years. - two wheelers in class A, cars and light vans as class B, goods vehicles class C and class D for buses and the like. British photocard licences were introduced a couple of years before the new millennium and I think the design has remained basically the same till the present day though I don't actually know because I changed my British licence for a Spanish one in 2012. If the UK licence is still the same I'm sure that plans are well in hand to change it to an English, Welsh, Scottish or Northern Ireland licence, one that has nothing to do with Johnny Foreigner, a licence that will properly reflect BRITISH traditions and attitudes; something to safeguard our national heritages.

Anyway I live in Spain and I have a DGT app, the DGT is the Dirección General de Tráfico (which I bet you can both translate and get the gist of their remit just from the name), and the other day that application sent me a little message to tell me that I could now renew the light lorry/big van class on my driving licence which was due to run out in February of next year. Generally Spanish licences for motorbikes and cars last for 10 years but, after age 65, that becomes five years. For the "professional" licence classes like big vans, buses etc., licences have to be replaced every five years up to age 65 and every three years after that. The chances of me driving something like a motorhome or a three and a half tonne van in the next few years are pretty low but I decided I didn't want to lose the right and in asking how I made an appointment I ended up renewing my licence today.

Replacing or renewing a licence is simple enough, there's some form to be filled in and a fee to be paid. I think it's 24.10€ for an updated licence (new photo, address change etc.) and 20.40€ for a duplicate of a lost licence. I don't really know how it's done because I've always paid someone to do it for me. That's because there is another part to renewing a licence which is called a psychotechnical test. This involves doing some exercises on a computer type screen that always remind me of the 80s arcade game, Space Invaders, or maybe that ping pong one. The graphics are simple, to say the least, and the whole thing seems a bit steam driven. The tests are to check co-ordination and reactions. There are also a couple of questions as to whether you have any illnesses, whether you're a drunk or a druggie and if you can see and hear. Different centres take the question and answer parts more or less seriously. A clinic in Monóvar actually had me doing hearing and sight tests but the place I've been to the last couple of times seems less strict!

So I played Pong, answered the questions, had my photo taken, signed the forms and handed over 79.34€. As the renewal fee is 24.10€ that must mean that the testing and form filling cost me 55.24€. It may be that that's something plus VAT because it seems like an odd price. Mind you, the last time I put a car through an MOT type test it cost 53.69€. Worse, I've just noticed that the other place that does psicotécnico tests in Pinoso is offering them for 40€ at the moment. I wouldn't have found that out if I'd been sure how to spell psicotécnico!

I was given a temporary cover note for the licence, even though I still have the, in date, original, and told that the new licence will be sent to me by post. I've just noticed though that on the DGT application, on my phone, the dates have already been extended and I'm OK on the car licence till 2027 (well into my dotage) and for the big vans till 2025. Cool.

Years passing

The Mini was first registered nine years ago today. To celebrate part of the badge, that reads Mini, on the tailgate fell off. It just adds to the number of niggling faults on the car including a boot that doesn't open properly, broken down seats and split rubber weatherproofing. As well as a long list of little problems the car has had two major mechanical problems which have stopped it on the road. Replacing the double mass flywheel, one of the problems, cost close to 2,000€. 110,000 miles and the car feels very old. I would not recommend a BMW Mini to anyone.

So I'm well aware of the passing of the years with the car but I was really surprised to find that some of the classes on my driving licence were about to expire. When I passed my car driving test in the UK they threw in the right to drive small lorries and vans, up to 7,500 kg, as a bonus prize.  It isn't normal for car drivers in Spain to have rights to drive small lorries and it was that class, and the various combinations with trailers, that were about to reach their sell by date. This must mean that I've had my Spanish driving licence for five years. Surely not? I would have sworn that it couldn't be more than a couple of years but time, apparently, passes.

When I swapped my British licence for a Spanish one my right to drive a minibus disappeared. The car part of my licence is good for another five years but if I didn't renew it now then I would lose more classes. I haven't actually driven anything bigger than a Transit for over twenty years but who knows when the need may arise again?

The Spanish system includes a health and psychotechnical test. This can be done at any one of a number of approved centres all over the country and we now have a part time one in Pinoso. The psychotechnical test involves two exercises something a bit like that ping pong video game from the 1970s. In the first a dot moves along a track and then disappears into a "tunnel" and you have to anticipate when it will come out of the other side. The second involves trying to keep two white dots within a winding "road" - the road on the left moves differently to the road on the right. I suppose that the first is about anticipation and the second about co-ordination.

There is also supposed to be an eye test, a hearing test, a general check of your health, like blood pressure, and some questions about your general health, both mental and physical. I did one of these tests, voluntarily, years ago when I still had a British licence because I was unsure about the legality of driving without one. That time they did all those tests so this time I was all prepared with a plausible answer for the question about how much alcohol I drank in a week but they didn't ask. In fact, apart from being asked if I was healthy and if my vision and hearing were OK I only had to do the computer games.

In fact the most difficult part of the whole process was getting my address to fit onto the computer database. The person who did the test wasn't from Pinoso and she had the same problem as lots of people in that she couldn't understand why we didn't have a street or why we used a postcode that isn't actually our postcode. I also made a little joke about how my name had too many aiches for Spaniards to spell it correctly - she checked the name on my licence and changed the name on the computer screen!

The check took about fifteen minutes and cost 58€. The driving licence renewal fee was 23.50€. So the total was 81.50€. Not that cheap.