On Thursday of last week, they sorted that out by installing more permanent access to my bloodstream via a probe that leads to bigger, better veins in my chest. The same day, they spent four hours, first pumping saline into me, to make sure I was hydrated, and then pumping in some chemicals which, in my layman's understanding, are designed to be powerful enough to kill off nasty cancerous cells but not quite violent enough to kill me.
It's all a bit of a faff. Lots of the days have been exceptions for one reason or another, but the process is something like this.
I am scheduled for 33 sessions of radiotherapy. There is one session on each working day. I did number five today, so by my reckoning, that will take me through till mid-October. The radiotherapy directs X-rays, gamma rays, high-energy electrons, or heavy particles (and I have no idea which) at the specific area where the throat cancer is. I wait in a pleasant enough waiting area with free coffee and Kiss FM radio until they call me in. I take off my shirt, and they strap me onto a table with a mask over my face to help with targeting and to keep me from squirming around. It's not horrid but it's not something I'd choose to do for fun—not being a Tory MP. It doesn't hurt; there is no particular sensation of heat or anything, and it leaves no marks or redness. It takes fewer than twenty minutes from shirt off to shirt back on. I am told that from about the tenth session it will close up my throat, making it difficult for me to eat or drink, which is why, a couple of weeks ago now, they put a plastic tube directly into my stomach.
The chemo is done in a single session during the day. There's no overnight stay in Elda hospital. The place is a suite of recliner-type couches, a couple of big armchair-type chairs, and a couple of beds. Medics in purple pyjamas are here, there, and everywhere. They try to keep it all very jolly, all first names and a lot of laughing. Usually, people are given a bit of a choice as to which they prefer between bed, chair, or recliner, but the basic idea is that you get comfy, and then they hook you up to drips that first hydrate you and then do the poisoning of the cancer cells—different people get different concoctions. I think I have two more sessions to go, at least in the first phase. Next time around, I have to get a blood test a couple of days before they do the chemo session, and I think that also involves a consult with the oncologist.
So, neither of the actual treatments is particularly unpleasant, and both places are friendly and as un-grim as they can be. The problems come with what they do to you. And what the treatments do to people depends on what you're being assailed with and how you react. Currently, my effects are a very, very loud ringing in my ears, which makes me almost deaf in noisy situations. Most things taste very different and I've been unable to eat lots of stuff simply because it tastes horrid. My head aches most of the time, my mouth is lined with fuzzy felt, and there's a general feeling a bit like mild pins and needles throughout my entire body. My guts spend most of the time rumbling and gurgling, and I go from rushing to the toilet to wishing I could. I'm supposed to keep hydrated, which, apparently, means drinking water. Especially at night, that has a very unsettling effect on my bathroom habits and means that I'm not sleeping very well at all. The list of possible things to come—from skin eruptions to vomiting to total deafness—goes on for nearly 20 pages of A4. Going bald only gets a single phrase.
There are also a number of inconveniences. The port sticking out of my arm hurts a little all the time and has to be kept dry in the shower which makes for fun. I mentioned the feeding tube too. That still gives my guts an occasional twist so that I wince, but it's also a constant, unpleasant, presence. The feeding tube has to be redressed every day and washed through with clean water. At the moment I do that after I've showered. When my throat closes up, I will have to use that tube to eat. The method involves a squishy plastic bag loaded with some liquid-type mush which drips through the tube directly into my stomach. The feeding will take 45 minutes, and the tube will need to be cleaned and redressed after every feed. They also want me to push water through the tube twice a day. I reckon the feeding and dressing will take over three hours per day.
Combine that tube feeding with the ambulance. At the moment, an ambulance comes and collects me at 8 am every morning—a routine that has to be changed to get the blood sample done before a chemo session, and a routine that will have to be amended when the chemo is on the same day. Ringing the ambulance people is not one of my favourite tasks because it always gets complicated—an informal Spanish test. It takes me a while to get going in the morning as it is. When the time comes that I need to feed myself through the tube, I reckon I'm going to have to get up at 5 am every day to catch the ambulance, and it'll bring me home a bit before 2 pm. That's a lot of faff for a twenty-minute session.
So, so far, nothing terrible has really happened. I felt very sorry for myself over the weekend after the first chemo, but I seem to have bucked up today. I suppose too that even if everything goes to plan, if the treatments work, it's not going to be all over in a few months. There'll be tests and check-ups and procedures to remove ports and tubes and so on for months, and probably years, to come.
I'm not going to have many other experiences to blog about for quite a while, but people do keep asking.
