Life in Culebrón

You may remember, back in October, I was dead pleased to be paying taxes and Social Security. It meant I was in the system. Better still I'm now due a tax rebate. You can make your tax declaration any number of ways in Spain. I used an Asesor, a sort of accountant, to put mine together. I wasn't a tricky case. No investment income, no Swiss bank accounts, no money really. I paid the 35€ they charged me to get the finished tax declaration asking Hacienda (the tax people) for a 392€ refund. At the Asesor: "Only trouble is we don't seem to be able to get the OK from Hacienda on their Internet site, take the form to the bank and they'll transfer the cash" At the bank: "Ah, the reason this doesn't work is that your bank account is a non resident account and only residents can pay tax - it's a paradox. Ask the Asesor to ask Hacienda to pay by cheque" At the Asesor: "Come back in half an hour" At the Asesor: "Hacienda say they won...

With not having got to bed last night till just after 6am I was rudely awoken by someone hammering at the door around 10am. They had been stopped by the Guardia Civil for a traffic offence and as they weren't quite sure what it was they were in trouble for they wanted me to act as translator. Standing barefoot on the dirt road (just enough time to pull on T shirt and jeans), feeling very groggy and not quite knowing what was going on the Guardia officer gave me a very "oh Gawd here we go again" look as he wound down the patrol car window. It turned out that they were being fined for not carrying a copy of their insurance certificate (70€), their log book (10€) and their "MOT" (10€). They now have to produce the documentation at the local traffic office which is about 50 minutes drive away and where there is a remarkably long and time consuming queing system. Providing the documentation is OK they will just have to pay the 90€, not at the traffic office but at a ...

All over spain there are celebrations to mark the shortest night of the year. One of the biggest events is in Alicante and as that's very close to home I went to have a look. Originally items of houshold furniture were burned in the streets, old chairs and other junk, but, in some places the tradition has developed into a huge event. In Alicante there are neighbourhood associations that now club together to pay for the construction of their Hoguera. Some are true works of art. They will be burned at midnight tonight. Whilst the main event may be the burning the streets are just alive with people, streets are closed off, there are "hospitality tents" all over the place, bands on every corner, disco music pumping out, thousands of locals and visitors everywhere. I watched the mascletá (the sound fireworks designed to build up a deafening rythm) and watched the "folklore" parade where groups from all over Valencia and adjoining provinces send a representative floa...

I stopped at the lights in Alicante and a group of young Ecuadorians advanced on the car to clean the windscreen. "No thanks", they did it anyway. So I handed over a mean 50 centimos. One of them put his head through the side window, worried about some sort of snatch and grab I sort of pushed him back. A coin rattled against the inside of the door "I've dropped a euro" he said, the lights were changing, I pulled a euro from my pocket, gave it to him and drove away. Of course he'd dropped a single centimo to make the right sort of sound as it fell. He made a profit of 99 centimos on that transaction as well as the 50 centimos I'd actually paid.

When Franco died in 1975 the way was clear for democratic elections. It was a bit touch and go at the beginning as to whether democracy or a continuation of the dictatorship would win out. There was some fancy footwork but, thirty years ago today, the Spaniards went to the polls for the first time for a while. Thirty years apparently represents the longest period of stable democracy in Spain's history. A Spanish fishing boat rescued 26 refugees from a sinking raft off the coast of Libya yesterday. They were heading for Spain. Quite a change in 30 years from some backward dictatorship to a modern European country.

A pal wrote recently and said there were lots of windmills in the Cambridgeshire Fens. They're very common here too. These are on the plains of Castilla la Mancha, Don Quijote's stamping ground. He'd have a job tilting at these.

The MG is running well at the moment but, mainly because the weather is so nice, I've been using a bike to get to and from work for the past three or four weeks. This morning I was riding to my 8am Spanish lesson. I was going the wrong way in a one way street and I had to stop for a parked car. A coach was coming the other way. As I scooted around the parked car I crashed into the pavement, mounted it, scraped down the side of a wall and started to fall back into the road. As I smashed into the side of the coach I visualised myself falling under the wheels but somehow I survived. There may be a lesson there about traffic rules!

Maggie needed to get the equivalent of a police record check for her job as a teacher here in Spain. You buy the form from a tobacconist. After the Spanish Civil War the licences to run tobacconists (an estanco) were dished out by Franco's Government to those who had faithfully served the cause and would find difficulty earning a living otherwise - people whose legs had been blown off, the widows of war heros etc. As nearly everyone smoked there were tobacconists everywhere, even in the remotest village. So tobacconists provided a good network to distribute official forms through a semi governmental organisation. They still do.

Our village neighbours association went to Madrid over the weekend to see a musical. Keen to be a part of the gang we paid our money and went too. Six hours on the coach got us to our hotel in the northern end of central Madrid just an hour before the show started. So with checking in and across town travel we had just enough time to throw our bags into the room, wash our hands and face and get back onto the coach. At least it was a posh hotel. The musical, Hoy No Me Puedo Levantar (Today, I can't get up) was the story of the 80s told through the music and lyrics of a group who were dead famous here in the 80s - Mecano. The show started at 10.30pm, and lasted over four hours so we got out just before 3am! We didn't understand most of the dialogue, we didn't know the songs, the cultural references generally passed us by, the dancing looked a bit duff to me and the humour was very Spanish - slapstick and politically incorrect. My bum ached a lot too but the show was definitel...

A few months ago a male ginger cat sauntered on to our patio and begged food. He's been coming back on and off ever since for his breakfast and tea. I already had a name waiting for him - Harold - pronounced 'arrold for Harold Shand in The Long Good Friday. Harold has not been allowed in the house as male cats have a rather malodorous way of marking their territory. Maggie said it was time to get it sorted out and she took charge. So poor old Harold was captured tonight, put into a plastic cage and taken off to the vet where he is now languishing waiting for a check up to make sure he's fit before he gets his balls chopped off. All for the long term good really. He'll soon be able to kip on our sofa and live the pampered life of a house cat, provided of course he ever forgives us for his false imprisonment and comes anywhere near the house again. I'm just a bit worried about the poor little sod. He doesn't really know he can trust us yet and he must be a bit sca...

Last October my boss asked me to sign a bit of paper. Neither he nor I understood it but when I signed it I became legally employed. Because I'm thinking about getting a car loan I asked the bank what I would need. The main thing is my nomina or pay slip so I asked my boss how I could get hold of my pay slips. He said I should go and see his asesor, a sort of accountant. At the asesor's office they gave me a bunch of pay slips, dating from now back to October and a copy of my contract. I was asked to sign copies of each one and to get my boss to sign them too as he'd not yet seen them! With a bit of time to decipher the legal language of the contract I worked out my pay, social security and tax rates and I think I got an idea of how the contract system works. If I'm right there are standard contracts for different sorts of work called models. They relate to types of work so office based work might be type 400 for part time junior, 401 for full time junior etc. whilst co...

We have been offline, except for a very slow dial up connection for a couple of weeks now. When Ya.com let us down we ordered a connection from Telefonica (equivalent to BT in the UK). I rang them tonight to find out what was happening as we hadn't heard anything. Nothing's happening said the man: I have no orders showing on my screen. Delivery is now promised for 20 June.

Bowing to public pressure (or so I am told) the winners of the election of 27 May joined with the runners up to form the majority group. The Mayor will be from the winning Partido Popular and the "Deputy Mayor" will be the front runner from the second placed Union Central Liberal. The coalition will have 9 of the 13 seats on the council. So the stories about the briefcases full of money were untrue which is rather good to know. Maybe it's a sign of the (less corrupt) times.

I was buying a book in the newsagents when my next door neighbour came in to buy some brown paper. She wanted to wrap some clothes for posting to the UK that her son had left behind on his recent visit. I helped my neighbour with the Spanish to buy the paper and tape and I explained why she wanted it to the people behind the counter. They asked her if she would like them to wrap the clothes up for her. Spaniards are still like that. Nice I thought.

Albacete is one of the provinces that make up the Autonomous Community of Castilla La Mancha - Don Quijote country. It's only 150kms from where we live now and Maggie may be interested in a job there so we went to have a cup of coffee. Now Albacete is not an exciting place. The Blue Guide has it pretty much right when it says "A dull provincial capital in the centre of a flat, uninteresting, but fertile plain." I've been there three times and not been able to find anything much to do. The first and most memorable time a pal and I were there around Christmastime. A cold wind was whistling across that fertile plain and we spent the evening in a porn cinema as just about the only available refuge (an excuse that I've stuck to over the years). Yesterday the sun was shining, we enjoyed a drink in a very pleasant bar with a literary theme, the set meal in the restaurant was passable, the tourist office person was pleasant enough and the shops and general ambience was ni...

We have lost our Internet connection so it's been a bit difficult to Blog anything recently. However, just to finish off the election stuff. Basically we had a draw. There are 13 seats on the council. The PP got 5, UCL 4, PSOE 2, PSD 1 and BLOC 1. A right wing coalition of PP and PSD is quite possible as is a centre left coalition of UCL and PSOE. Six seats each. So Juan Carlos of the BLOC with just 400 votes holds the balance of power. If the coalitions go ahead and he chooses to join one or the other then a three party set up would gain power. Juan Carlos may even get to be Mayor for two of the four years that make up the term of office. My local informant told me that briefcases of money were being offered and that he thought the PP would win. The PP apparently has more money than Ramon of the UCL.