Fit for purpose

There are lots of things that I've done in my life which I regret. Some are big things, which I'm not going to tell you about, and some are small. I admit to wearing leg warmers in the 1980s. Something that causes me psychological grief every now and then is remembering my last leaving do. I rambled on and on for hours. I would be briefer given a second opportunity. My colleagues bought me gifts; amongst other things a Panama hat and a couple of sophisticated deck chairs. There was obviously an expectation that I would be sitting out in the sun.

It is true that being outside is one of the pleasures of Life in Culebrón, life in this part of Spain in general. I seem to remember that those chairs also served in our unfurnished living room for a while! We've got a sofa now (though Samuel the demi kitten is making sure that we will need a new one very soon). The Panama lives on, albeit with an extra hole, other than the one for my head. The chairs went the way of all flesh years ago. The Spanish sun bleaches things and destroys plastics, textiles and wood in all manner of ways. What the sun doesn't manage the huge changes in temperature and the infrequent but torrential downpours and high winds finish off.

This has given Maggie a hobby. Whenever we go into Carrefour, whilst I search for a new seasonal wardrobe or computer bits, she gravitates towards the outdoor furniture section. One of the odd things is that in an area where they say the sun shines 300 days each year outdoor furniture is not cheap. In fact it is shockingly dear. Maggie's hobby has now extended to searching the Internet for bargains. I'm not sure where the six chairs came from a couple of months ago but the design left something to be desired. I fear, that in assembling them, our Spanish neighbours may have learned several Old English expletives. Repetition I understand is one of the key elements in learning something. I damaged my hands so badly fastening up dozens of Allen key bolts with the toy tool that came in the box that I bought something resembling a proper tool for the next time. That next time proved to be yesterday. There was an eBay chair, bench and table set to assemble. This time the design was better and things fastened together more or less as they should but it would have helped if they'd remembered to pack sufficient nuts and bolts in the box. Oh, and to pack the glass for the little side table so that it didn't arrive in thousands of little cubes.

This hunt for perfect outside furniture has, according to Maggie, helped her to become more Spanish. It happened a couple of years ago now. None of the furniture can take the battering it receives from the climate. Well, with maybe one exception. "I used to think it looked horrible but now I think it looks OK - I think I'm becoming Spanish." She was talking about "stone" benches and chairs. I use the inverted commas because I presume that it's some sort of stone composite rather than the product of some advance on Palaeolithic flint knapping technology. Anyway, as I said, that was a while ago. I have no idea whether the steel and fabric kit from eBay is a product of Hispanicisation or not.